Growing where we are Planted

In July 2002 I penned this reflection of my life, I now see how far I've grown and remained the same.Most importantly I feels good to have found my way to the center of these words.


I am constantly evolving into the woman I need to be but the road there has been a bit bumpy at times.Depending on where I'm at in the cycle of things I will cast a fairly unrested spirit. I am like a river that steadily moves,always changing and carving out a new path for myself.Its no surprise to those that know me that the one force I identify most with is water. Life can't be sustained without it and I remain invigorated by its many forms. From the coldest ice to a pouring rain my body is always challenged to meet the demands of its force. I am thankful that negative energy flows away from me as sweat purges all the toxic waste away from my body.
so there is no wonder I find myself in awe of its powerful energy.
Everyone has this energy around them, be it positive or negative.Mines just tends to flow like waves gravitating to the rocks on shore,persistently crashing up against ideas. I've always worked against the grain though.I find no need to look at life through the same color glasses everyone else does.This has often lead people to perceive me as not being on the same page as they are in conversations.I'm there, I just see the situation from a place that is neither right or wrong,usually I'm on another plan envisioning what is to become. So I'll admit the ora I cast is quit different,but it is exactly that type of kinetic field which fuels my mental flow.
So for the last few years I have placed myself in exile from relationships,I mean all kinds.I have had enough problems and can't afford to absorb other peoples as well.This is perhaps the toughest thing I've ever done.I know eventually I'll have to give in and walk the road I was put here to take.Destiny is a bitch, the more you try to avoid it the closer you get to it with out even realizing what you've done. Discovering me has taken years. Years of my mothers prayers for me and years of running on controlled anger. Bitterness that came from knowing at a young age I saw things different,I reach places people dare not go for fear of the truth. Only a lifetime of evolving, hitting up against stone walls, raging like a hurricane and remaining as calm as peaceful waters with a churning under current has mellowed me. My still waters still run deep However now I walk this path alone but not in spirit. For I truly understand a caged bird sings but a free bird soars across the oceans and inspires!